Hallowi’zzle

Can I get an eek eek? Can I get a woo woo? Get your freak on you dicks, because it’s nearly hallowi’zzle and I’m doing a special spookz skillz post. Just tell me what gives you the heebz and I will visualize with the power of my brain. REAL TIME RESPONSE IS WHERE IT’S AT. And if anyone says I’m copying Old Spice I’ll bite their moustache off.

Here’s what gives me the shits…

1. A horse on its hind legs with Doakes from Dexter’s face.

2. A naked baby with Doakes from Dexter’s face.

3. Peeling a tangerine to find Doakes from Dexter’s face inside.

Copyrector Two: Electric Boogaloo

Well, it’s time for me to pack up my pen and paintbrush and take my copyrecting skillz from Dare to Poke. Being the only copyrector in London, my multitasking talents are in great demand and although it’s the sadz to leave, Poke need me. To help my friends here cope with the loss, I made them a selection of badges (there are two others leaving  too, to work for Take a Break or something). Anyways here they are with some hot sad models wearing the shit out of them…

They’re Toast

How to make the perfect slice of dead celeb haunted toast: First, find a nice big Toast jpeg and a tasty pic of your fave dead celeb. Then simply get a jar of Filter gallery, spread on some Stamp and top with a layer Gaussian Blur. Yumz.

The first one is particularly poignant coz she died eating a sandwich. Can you tell who the others are? Why not try making your own and I’ll publish the best. That’s what we call UGC in the biz.

How do you make a sausage roll?*

My mate Tom checked out copyrector and liked what he saw, so asked me to design a header for his blog PercyIngle’s.  I don’t really understand what it’s about but Percy Ingle is a bakery chain in East London so I used a tasty looking sausage roll with a ketchup topping of text. I used Bevel and Emboss for the text but added the white bits myself. Took ages.

Now he tells me he wants to change the copy. What a dick.

*Push it. Push it real good.

Copyrector. Actually.

My Art Director is gone! Which means now I truly am a Copyrector. Thankfully my skillz have prepared me for this moment, so I really don’t care. In fact he was probably holding me back. Check this card I made him. Look at the detail of Patricks’s hair on Tristan’s forehead. And the old people. Ha Ha. (He’s moving to Bournemouth).

Pissing Snow

Just a quick one, bit rusty after the new year and need to warm up my skillz a bit. Used a lot of the sponge tool in this one. Very handy for the urine-in-snow effect.

Prince Charming

It’s our Christmas Party tomorrow and the theme is Panto. My friend Alex (you may recognise him from Man in Monkey) is going as Prince Charming. I have created my first ever animated gif to show how I think his evening will go. Check out the wee stain on his crotch!

If it doesn’t animate click on his willy…

Animated gif coming soon…

The Miserables

I went to see Les Mis last week on the spur of the moment because I just do that sort of thing. They were all so sad, and we’re all so priveliged, I decided to see how my friends liked being tres miserable. I tried all sorts of techniques, until it struck me – what is a frown? An upside down smile.

No Mo

Movember is over so I’ve de-moustached and de-bearded my colleagues, Stuart and Tony. Had a bit of trouble with the Stamp clone tool today so they look a little bit like burns victims. And before you ask, I didn’t do anything to Stuart’s eyes. He just looks like that.

Before

After

Before

After